Because I Am Only Who I Read
Out of place and in fear of showing who I am I am the disgraced Moor who killed the lamb He swore to love because the burning In my heart came from the yearning To be a part but We are not We are at the edge Despite making a true pledge To care for my sweet love The pure, white, faithful doe But the realm of the exiled Dante Brings out the brazen ox that slays The truth as that envious fox Confirms my own doubt that locks My mind from those I refuse to heed Because I am only who I read Love or hate I cannot tell But my addiction is my alarm bell And it is also my remote That controls me and keeps me afloat There! Is that him? My heart flutters No. Just sea foam from the rudders I must find that devilish God To prove he is nothing but a fraud I force the crew upon the rowboat He is in the waters but will come to gloat I will slay that beast soon, As I drive him through with my harpoon But what will I do after, and if, I succeed Because I am only who I read I was made, yet for what Even my makers do not know, but I am what I am and have become Something you do not like, not the son You had wanted, but a monster, A monster you cast aside, righteous doctor. All because I am what I am and so Punish me for not fitting the status quo You will not give me freedom Nor allow me into your, or any, Eden All I wanted was someone But your self-hatred, now projected Onto me, the thing you dissected, Follows me to the edge of the earth But now I realized what you gave birth To. I am a monster to you, silver spoon Human, but I am beyond your bleak cocoon I am eternal and rule the northern glacier A romantic undead between you and nature. Eventually you will be nothing but history But I will remain the immortal mystery That all will remember as your name—your deed— Because I am only who I read Whether a Moor Or a white whale whore Or an undead gore Each book opens a door To another person that craves more I wonder who will be number four
Being able to relate to a character in a book or other narrative story is a mark of a well-crafted character. Going through various classical characters in this poem, the narrator connects to each of their stories.” – Zain Mehdi
About the Creator
Zain Mehdi is an M1 at the University of Iowa Carver College of Medicine. He previously studied molecular and cell biology and English at Cornell University. Originally from Pittsburgh, Zain has had a passion for drawing, painting, and writing since kindergarten.