Where I Found Myself

In recognition of National Coming Out Day on October 11th, The Appendix would like to highlight the importance of LGBTQ diversity in healthcare and shed light on care for LGBTQ populations. Below is a poem on coming out by Kenzie McKnight:

I found myself in a closet.
It was a dark closet. All I wanted to do was get out of that closet, that dark, dark closet.
So I opened the closet door and…
I found myself in my apartment bedroom—my artwork ripped to pieces, scattered across the floor and my TV toppled over and cracked at the base.
I opened the door again and…
I found myself walking the streets at night—my eyes swollen with tears and my closest friends by my side.
I opened the door again and…
I found myself in the emergency room—my wrist adorned with a white, paper wristband and the muffled voices of physicians eliciting my story while I stared up at the ceiling.
I opened the door again and…
I found myself in a hospital ward—my belongings stripped from my possession and an unbearable anxiety washing over me through a long, sleepless night.
I opened the door again and… I found myself in a therapist’s office—my repressed feelings spewing into the open and a pile of crumpled tissues lying next to me.
I opened the door once again and…
I was no longer in a dark closet.
I found myself in a brighter world—my family and friends welcoming me with their support and my experiences behind me, but forever shaping who I will become.

About the Creator:

My name is Kenzie McKnight and I am an M2. I want to highlight that this is by no means the worst outcome in struggling with my sexuality, and it is by no means the best. Everyone has varied experiences. I am lucky that I have such supportive family and friends and I can (mostly) be myself. Others cannot say the same. Although I am out, I still deal with the occasional slur thrown at me by a passing citizen and the constant anxiety of wondering if every new person I meet will be okay my sexuality.

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