Forcing myself out of bed at 10:30am
and pouring a cup of coffee
our kitchen windows frosted over from
the bitter November air.
I open Twitter. Only bad news. I close Twitter.
My laptop is staring at me from over there.

I grind my teeth and dig my nails into my palms when I open up the PowerPoints
that have been shuffled from today
to tomorrow
to next week;
the apathy stands in my way.

My eyes sting with tears that won’t come
out as I stare blankly at the screen
feeling numb from the SSRI I just swallowed it’s better
than feeling full of dread, I guess. What happened to
the girl who always wanted to do her best? And now
she just needs endless rest?

“By the end of this lecture you should be able to—​”
—​what? Make some toast? Climb back into bed?
Use what little energy and motivation I have to
process the endless stream of evil
that lives rent-free inside my head?

Allowing myself to fall under the blankets and
sipping some water before closing my eyes with
the windows dark, blocking out the world and
my “responsibilities”.
I just don’t have the energy,
I’m chained up by this apathy.

Author: Anonymous

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