Build yourself, do not erase it, the instructor says when she talks about beliefs, that a client’s or patient’s will differ from mine. Still, I try to be absent, void of opinion, as though my nothing will make room for someone else— everyone else, so I stacked steel beams and plaster. When she sees the bony structure, the instructor begs: what do you believe? I sand the popcorn ceiling, and I try to be considerate while her mouth seems to water, while mine is a vacuum that sucks and sucks until the cavity dries, I treasure this great blank canvas. So she asks about my childhood, my church, my enemies How I may see them in the frame. The mortal coil is design! How easy to say by clay sculpture, furnished with Calacatta. With no pennies and no eye, I sprawl across the cool tile, fingers in the corners, and command my vessel to leak.
This piece hopes to serve as an exploration of the self and responsibility as a provider in the medical field; in a system of people serving people, a provider must build a space for themselves and a client/patient” – Lexys Sillin
About the Creator
Lexys Sillin is a nonfiction writer that largely pulls from her own experiences with family, mental health, and grief as inspiration. She currently serves as a first-year student of Marriage and Family Therapy at Mount Mercy. Lexys lives with her two cats and her husband, Mason, who generously proofreads all of her work, including this bio.