The Instructor, The Constructor

Build yourself, do not erase it, the instructor says 
when she talks about beliefs,
that a client’s or patient’s will differ from mine. 
Still, I try to be absent,
void of opinion,
as though my nothing will make room for someone else—
everyone else, 
I stacked steel beams and plaster.

When she sees the bony structure, the instructor begs:
what do you believe?
I sand the popcorn ceiling,
and I try to be considerate
while her mouth seems to water,
while mine is a vacuum
that sucks and sucks until the cavity dries,
treasure this great blank canvas.

So she asks about my childhood, my church, my enemies
How I may see them in the frame.
The mortal coil is design!
How easy to say by clay sculpture,
furnished with Calacatta.
With no pennies and no eye, I
sprawl across the cool tile, fingers in the corners, 
command my vessel to leak. 

This piece hopes to serve as an exploration of the self and responsibility as a provider in the medical field; in a system of people serving people, a provider must build a space for themselves and a client/patient” – Lexys Sillin

About the Creator

Lexys Sillin is a nonfiction writer that largely pulls from her own experiences with family, mental health, and grief as inspiration. She currently serves as a first-year student of Marriage and Family Therapy at Mount Mercy. Lexys lives with her two cats and her husband, Mason, who generously proofreads all of her work, including this bio.

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